Jaren has been on my mind a lot lately. There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought of him, but I've been REALLY missing him lately. I cried myself to sleep the other night just wanting him so bad. He passed away about 5 1/2 years ago. He only lived almost 12 months - so it really feels like FOREVER since I've seen him. I still long to hold him more than ever. The other day my sister posted the cutest picture of her little boy zipping up his little sisters coat. It was the perfect candid shot. And she said that he'd been calling her "sweets" lately. I literally about died, it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. It made me happy and it brought tears to my eyes. I want Jaren to be Addie & Sara's big brother. And although he is, I long for it now! I crave little boy everything. When I see a little boy his age do anything all I can think about is Jaren. And I imagine him adding lots of joy, chaos, and happiness into our home.
I really hate getting stuck in the what might have been. I don't really do it much, because it doesn't make anything feel better. But I can't really express how excited I am that I can see Jaren again and hold him, wipe his dirty face, give him baths, feed him, snuggle him, read him his favorite dog book, and play peek-a-boo under his blankets. I long for it so much!
These pictures right here are the closet thing I have of seeing what it will be like to see Jaren again. I wish Daddy wasn't behind the camera and was right there next to us.
This is Addie meeting Sara for the first time (17 months ago to the day). Look at her face! She's so happy! I could stare at this picture all day.
And look at my face. I'm looking at Addie and am so happy that she's so happy. We are a happy family!
I think we'll all be so excited to be together again. Our eternal family all together embracing each other and laughing and smiling. It will be a happy day!
If you aren't familiar with our beliefs, you might wonder how I know this.
We believe in God, and in His Son, Jesus Christ. They have given us the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ (which you can read about here). When Christ was crucified He left His apostles to spread the Gospel, they were killed and the true church and it's doctrines were lost. In the spring of 1820, Joseph Smith (you can read more about this in the links above) prayed to ask God which of the churches were true, God & Jesus Christ appeared to him and told him that none were true. Joseph was called to restore the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth. In May of 1829 the ancient apostles, Peter, James and John conferred the Priesthood upon Joseph Smith & Oliver Cowdery. The Priesthood power that they had been given by Jesus Christ before He was crucified. The priesthood is God's power - and through the priesthood we can receive all the ordinances and blessings of the Gospel.
Then on April 3, 1836 (179 years ago today) Christ appeared to Jospeh & Oliver in the Kirtland temple. Moses, Elias, and Elijah also appeared and gave the priesthood keys to Joseph & Oliver. Elijah brought the keys of the sealing power, which make it possible for families to be sealed together forever.
Here is my forever family in 2 pictures.
I can't wait for the time when we are all together forever again. Christ's restored Gospel means everything to me. It's what blessed my life each day, and gives me so much to look forward to. I pray that it will mean everything to you. He gave all He had for us. His life.
Because of Christ - because He loves us, he was willing to take upon Him the sins, pains, sorrows, afflictions, all that is unfair in life upon Him, he suffered the Atonement, was crucified, and then rose again like he said he would on the 3rd day, and now He lives. He's given the gift of repentance and eternal life to us, all we have to do is follow Him. We don't have to be perfect, but we do have to give Him our best. He knows us so well and will help us find peace in this life. We can be healed of all the sins, pains, sorrows, afflictions and unfair things that come before us through His atonement. I'm so grateful that He did this for me. And for you! Where would I be without it? I would be lost.
I know He lives and loves us and that He wants us to return to be with Him again. That is my greatest hope in this world - to be able to live like Him, so I can be with Him and those I love forever. We are so blessed to have His Gospel now and forever.
I am eternally grateful for my Savior! And I'm also so grateful that I've been given the family I have. I'm grateful that I have Jaren to long for, he helps keep me on the right track when I start to stray.
I'm so blessed! God is good!