Saturday, November 21, 2009

Jaren's Obituary

Jaren Steven Grover

NORTH LOGAN - Jaren Steven Grover, 11 months old, peacefully returned to his Heavenly Father on November 20, 2009 at Primary Children's Hospital due to bacterial meningitis.

He was born November 26, 2008 in Logan, Utah to Steven and Lindsay King Grover.

Jaren has brought so much joy and meaning into the lives of his family. He has the sweetest little smile that always made our hearts melt. He loved to learn all that he could. A few of his favorite things to do were to spin wheels on his toy cars, or girl friends' baby strollers, he loves to brush his teeth and wash his hands. He'd always get this excited smile when it was time to do it. He loved to peek at himself in the mirror and see his little friend, he smiled so big. Every day when he'd take a bath he'd feel the water come out of the tap and sometimes turn the shower on and spray himself really good. He loved to kick and splash in the tub, it was too much fun. He'd also try to catch the swirl of the water going down the drain and he'd lay down and listen to the water drain from the tub. The smallest things were so intriguing to him. Jaren loved to sing songs....he could do the actions to 'patty cake' and he loved to be sang songs such as 'I love you...a bushel and a peck', 'I am a Child of God', 'I hope they call me on a Mission', and 'I lived in Heaven'. Jaren was sent to our family for a special reason, and he fulfilled his mission here. He has strengthened our testimonies of the Gospel and made us better people. We are so happy to know that one day we will be right with him again. We know he is making people happy in heaven, and that he is bringing joy to them. We love our little angel and will miss him.

Survived by father, Steven Grover; mother, Lindsay King Grover; grandparents, Bruce and Maureen Grover, Jeffrey and Diana King; great grandmother, Alice Jensen; great grandparents, Val and Kathy King, Ron and Rosella Boman.

Funeral services will be held at 12 p.m. Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at the North Logan Stake Center on 2750 N 800 E, North Logan, Utah. A viewing will take place prior to the funeral from 10 a.m. to 11:45 a.m. in the stake center. Jaren will be buried in the North Logan Cemetery.

Friday, November 20, 2009

In Loving Memory

Last night we went to temple square to do lots of praying and thinking. We felt that Jaren's life was going to go one direction or the other very soon. The doctors told us that his brain was beyond repair. We felt full of faith that Jaren could be healed if it was Heavenly Father's will. We also knew that his life was in Heavenly Father's hands, and that he had a plan for him that we, as his earthly parents, did not fully understand.

We returned to the Hospital, we prayed and had some elders who worked at the hospital come to give Jaren a blessing with me. The Spirit was so strong. In the blessing I was prompted to tell Jaren that he had a choice to either be healed completely and continue to live here on Earth, experiencing the joys and pains of mortality or that he could return to live with his Father in Heaven.

Jaren passed away peacefully this morning around 9:30 A.M. We know that he was welcomed by family, and by a loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. We know that he is happy.

Words cannot describe the way we feel at this time. We are so comforted to know that God's plan is real and that we will see Jaren again. This life is just a little spec in the whole picture. Jaren will only feel like we are gone but a moment from him. We are so blessed to be able to have him in our eternal family. Now we only have to continue to live worthy to be with his spirit again. We love you Jaren....we know you are up in Heaven spinning wheels on cars and making your Grandparents and Great Grandparents smile and laugh. We miss you so much. Don't forget that we will always love you.....You are our angel.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dad's Daily Update

Jaren has been urinating more today, so they won't do dialysis. Other than that there really hasn't been too much of change yet. His blood pressure is good. They've been able to reduce oxygen levels and everything looks good.

Thanks for everyone's love and support, hopefully we'll have more news tomorrow or later this week.

 Love, Steven, Lindsay, and Jaren

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Nighty Night

Well we are shooting for a bed time before mid-night tonight.

We've had some amazing experiences today.....and some really hard things. But we are making it through so well. We know the Lord is blessing us.

We could post the last post for a while because we felt that we needed to pray and gain some insight and revelation on what was happening. After the doc told us all that new of all the ranges of things that could go on with Jaren...well, we cried to say the least. We came back to Jaren's room and just stared at him......thoughts of all sorts were crossing our minds. I couldn't handle it and knew we needed to go pray and ask Heavenly Father for help.....and we kept waiting there just thinking.....it's hard to pray when you can't focus. So we were mustering up the courage to pray and to know what to pray for.

We decided that we needed a room to ourselves. So Steven and I found a quite room. We sat again, just thinking. Steven asked me to say the prayer.....and then we waited some more. And yes, you all waited too. But we had to know what to think and what to say to you all.

Before we started I told Steven that I knew Heavenly Father was NOT like Satan, he does not lead us to think things that are not true if we are truly in tune with the spirit we will have the thoughts in our minds that he wants us to have. So as we knelt, I asked the Holy Ghost in my mind to guide my prayer, I was still unsure what to say. The prayer just came, the words just flowed from my mouth. I don't remember much of what I prayed for. I thanked Heavenly Father for his spirit and for the comfort of all of the prayer and fasting in our behalf. I told him we could truly feel the peace from it. I told him how confused we were and that we didn't understand any of this. I asked him to please help our thoughts be focused in the direction that is where he wanted us to be. I told him I knew that he wouldn't let us think things that weren't going to be happening.

After the prayer we sat for a few minutes and pondered....trying to receive personal revelation on what we were to gain from that prayer. After a few minutes.....we were still both thinking a lot, and I said to Steven that when I thought of Jaren dying or planning his funeral, that thought was immediately replaced with something else....something that felt good and very different from death. I told him I was sure that he would live. What I am unsure about is what he will be like long term. But one thing I do know is that however he is as he lives is how the Lord has planned this. It may be perfect and he may live to be 101, or he may die young. But Jaren knew what would happen to him when he came to this earth, and that is why he is so freaking awesome.....he still wanted a body, which is how we progress in the wonderful Plan of Salvation. He knew that this wouldn't be easy, but that it would help him. He was sent to this earth for a specific purpose. His purpose is obviously very special. He is a very special boy. He will live on this earth until he has finished all that the Lord has in store for him. He will enrich our lives while we are on this earth no matter what kind of conditions he has (perfect or not). I believe that he was a little too perfect for this earth. And he is trying to teach us more about God's plan for us. What an amazing thing.

I bore this testimony to my grandparents, Steven and my Mother tonight as we finished our dinner. I sat there for 20 minutes or more it felt like trying to get the guts to spit it out. I felt so weird until I bore it....like you do in testimony meeting sometime, you keep ignoring the prompting and you feel like you heart is going to jump out of your body. After I bore my testimony, which I knew they all needed to hear. I felt this burning in my stomach....it was strong. I know it was the spirit of God. It was the strongest I've ever felt it on this earth. Wow, it really was more amazing than I can describe.

Right now I feel like a rock, solid in what I know and that God's plan is more than perfect. We however are far from it and he is helping us understand it. It's starting to make so much more sense as we have had this Spirit and revelation. I am so thankful for the testimony that Heavenly Father blessed me with. I have always known I'd have it, and it is my rock and my strength and the reason that I am able to live my life right now and share my thoughts so well with you. I hope your testimonies are strengthened by this wonderful experience and trial. Don't ever forget that Heavenly Father truly never gives a trial you cannot handle. If you seek his guidance he will bless you. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

-A few updates on the little man:

-Around 7:00 tonight they put in a chest tube that goes into his lung (he's been so swollen, incredibly swollen) and it's been doing so good. It's bringing a steady good flow out from his lungs and he is peeing again quite often. WAHOOOOOO....we've been waiting for this.

-He's had some sweet cards from my mom's elementary class....i'll have to post later some of their comments....kids really say the 'darn-est' things.

-He just seems to look a bit better now after all that swelling, his pH balance in he blood and all the levels of everything are looking so much better from the drainage...it's great.

Keep praying, we'll still be here a while and truly feel peace from your love and support.

Sorry this was a novel......but I love you and want you to know everything, and this is my journal for now.

Update from Dad

I wish my first blog post was about something happier (because this is Steven, not Lindsay). The kind doctor who has been working with us went over the MRI scans with us. It felt pretty unreal to see all the images of Jaren's brain. There is a substantial amount of damage in all areas of the brain. The doc says they still can't tell us what this all might mean for us. The only thing that can tell now really is time. In a few days we should see some more signs of what is possible.

Recovery could range from full to minimal. The doctor says based on what they've seen, he believes Jaren will live. He may have trouble eating on his own, need a ventilator (for a short or long term period), have epilepsy, learning disability. The doctor said that his heart (already strong), liver, and kidneys will recover. Basically at this point in time, his quality of life is very unknown.

Thanks again for all your love, prayers and support. We really can feel it. The Spirit is strong.

Love ya'll,

Steven, Lindsay, and Jaren

MRI at 11:00 AM

Hey all....I don't know what to write. Jaren is having an MRI soon. They neuro-doctor came in and said he is very concerned about the parts of his brain that make him do involuntary things like breathing and swallowing etc. I feel your prayers, but I am feeling so sad right now. I've been keeping so strong. But I know miracles happen, and I can't help but hope for a really amazing one.

We'll know sometime after 1:00 the results from the MRI.

Please keep praying. I miss my baby so bad......I want to play with him and hold him. God's will work out for the best in our lives. I just don't know what it is yet, and I'm trying to stay strong while we wait to find out.

I'll I can ask for is prayers.......thank you soooooooooooo much!

Love,

The Grover's

Monday, November 16, 2009

I hope this is the last update for the night :)

I wanted to go to bed at 7:00, but....I got another adrenaline rush after I came back from dinner. I helped the nurse give Jaren a bath, he's smelling like baby lotion and soap....yumness. I want to nibble on him now! He was smelling like meds big time. I also helped change his bedding. it's clean and fresh.....so nice. Oh and he has a curl on his head....like the one I always put there.

So the spinal tap was done. It went well. The pressure in his head was not too concerning. So that was good. And they only poked once. :) He did pee a little...finally, I don't think I mentioned he is not peeing at all hardly. He peed during his bath....must be like he is at home still, cause he always was peeing when he touched warm water...funny guy. At night he usually pees so much it leaks through his diaper...so I keep telling him: Jaren you are a good pee-er...so do it. A little humor!

He is looking like the michelan man....big and puffy. they are tyring lots to get him to pee and not be so puffy. we hope something helps soon.

I can't remember if I said that he will be on the antibiotics here for at least 2 more weeks.....so that is the only time frame we have which seems like it's not realistic....I think we'll be here much longer.

this is rambling i know....but that's how it is.

We are still feeling the fasting and praying. You are all amazing. I'll pass on the messages from everyone to Jaren.

(Heidi, thanks for sharing with Shawnee and Shelly) Hope you have a good institute lesson....email me what is was about and what everyone says if you can. I'd love to hear. You can give them my email.

Hello Again

So.....a lot has happened and is still happening..............where to start?

First off, your prayers are helping sooo much and fasting, etc. I have felt more calm now than ever in my life. If you know me well, you know that I fuss over lots, like when Jaren won't nap or eat and I get anxious..... :) i don't feel that way at all. And I KNOW that the only way that is happening is through the prayers and fasting and thoughts of all of our friends and family.

So the infectious disease team for the U of U hospital just met and talked about Jaren's symptoms and had a team meeting. They say that he will be on antibiotics for at least 2 more weeks. LONG, I know. We really have to take this a day at a time. It's hard to not think about what he will be like when this is all over....and when that will happen. But it's a whole lot of small changes that are just moving one day at a time. So with that.....please keep praying, it's so comforting to know that we can feel peace and comfort.

Jaren has had a few more responses since coming off he sedatives (sleep meds). More muscles movements when bothered. His eyes still do not respond to light, but they are even (looking in the same direction).

Right now Steven is reading him a story that he loves....about animals around the world. It's nice to still do a few things we did at home while he was responding and normal.

Soon they will be doing a spinal tap....which is a small needle like an epidural that goes into the fluid around the spine (it goes around the spine and brain). They will take out about a Tablespoon and try to grow a culture, and confirm the meningitis. he is being treated for meningitis, so if he has it, it's on it's way to getting better.

Later tonight or tomorrow morning they will be doing an MRI to see a better picture of his brain and skull and see if there is bleeding there or any damage, or see if they can predict anything else.

It's pretty amazing that the best doctors and nurses in the world are here and that Jaren is seriously being watched by them soooo close. Any slight change for good or bad is being paid attention to and things are being done to improve everything.

We are still standing strong, not losing hope. Miracles happen....things you can't even imagine possible happen for some reason or another, and that gives us faith, comfort and hope.

Until later, and with love....

The Grover's

If you want us to tell Jaren anything....I'll tell him. He misses his little friends.

I told him Hi from Sadie, Heidi...thanks. love you

Another Update

Let's see.....Jaren was taken off of both of his sedatives (sleep induced drugs) just after 9:00 this morning. They say that normal children would take 2 hours to start to move....or wake up a little bit. We've seen his eye-lids or eyes twitch which is good. They haven't had any response from his pupil or eyes really since we got here....so that is really amazing. :)

His head is looking less swollen and same with his eyes. he's looking a little more like himself. I tried to put his little curl on the top of his head...but it looked like a funny mohawk...so we combed it back down.

Mostly we are just waiting....it's pretty possible that he will have a spinal tap today to confirm that he has Meningitis....he is being treated as if he has it, but the confirmation will help lead us in other paths to hopefully get him over this sooner.

Thank you for your prayers and support. We know they are working because we are remaining very calm, and know that your prayers and faith are what are helping us.

Love you all,
The Grover's

Also, we have some cute pictures on the wall from cousins and uncles/aunts.....Jaren has some of his favorite toys and stuffed animals in his crib. And we've been spinning the wheels on his car that always entertains him for so long. :)

Monday

Jaren is about in the same spot today. Steven and I were able to both get about 8 hours of pretty good sleep, so we are feeling better. Which we are grateful for.
Jaren's not urinating hardly at all and his little kidneys aren't working too well. They are thinking they may be doing some kind of dialysis soon.....we are still waiting to find out.

That's as much of an update as I have.

We still are feeling your prayers and know that Jaren is in good hands.

Love you all!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Thanks for the support

Things are slowly moving in different directions. Jaren, Steven and I all had Priesthood blessings. We have felt even more peace. Jaren has soooo many people praying for him. It's such a great feeling to know that we have so much support. We appriciate your comments on our blog, emails, and phone calls. Wish we could keep in touch a bit more.

Some more good news....

-He had some more muscle reflexes. They pulled a tube out of his lung (i think it was his lung) and he squirmed like it must have felt really weird. So that was happy to see the sweet guy move.

Jaren loves you, I know he can feel the prayers of everyone. He is an angel. I can't even tell you how amazing it is to be a mother and to have him in our family. We have no idea what is happening really. He is still in critical condition. If he doesn't make it, it's because he is so special and that he was too good for this earth. I think he knew that this would happen to him when he chose to come to earth. And that is what makes him ROCK....he is strong and he wanted to come here to get a body and to be able to learn and grow. I have good feelings about him and his safety and I know he will be taken care of regardless of what happens.

I know this is rambling a bit...but words are just coming. We've been able to rest a little, and Jaren knows we are here. We talk to him, sing to him and touch him. i know he can hear and feel us. I just hope that he is happy and having good dreams in his deep sleep.

Love you all...and thanks again for everything!

Love,

The Grover's

Sunday's update on Jaren: Our Sweet Angel

The blood tests have confirmed that he has Pneumonia and Strep. They haven't done a spinal tap yet, it's still too dangerous. But he is very likely to have Meningitis. He is getting treated for all of the possible things, so we don't miss anything. His CT scan of his brain this morning showed dark spots, meaning that blood was not delivered for some time, resulting in brain damage. At this point we are not sure how much or how severe the brain damage is. All we know is that he is still in a very critical stage.

The good things:
-when you pinch his toes or scratch his feet he flinches a little bit...like he's saying 'quit buggin me' (he is completely sedated)
-his oxygen is down from 99% to 40%, which is excellent. The air we breath is about 20% oxygen
-his blood pH is stabilizing
-he initiates some of his breaths
-he is sweet and cute, and I can't stop talking to him or singing to him.

We can feel the power of prayer and fasting from all. thank you so much! we know that jaren is part of our eternal family and that no matter what happens, he will always be with us.

Until later...

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Jaren--Our Precious Angel

We are at the PICU at Primary Children's hospital. Jaren is very ill. The doctors are suspecting he has Meningitis. They have run several tests on him and some test take a few days to get back. As for now he is being monitored very closely......he can't breath on his own and has 99% oxygen, IV's of all sorts etc. It's the worst thing I've ever seen. We are hoping that we can count on the faith of everyone together to help him. The doctors words were: 'It's not likely that he'll make it'....we are trying to stay positive and have faith. If he does make it, he will have some problems...mostly from brain damage. If you can, please fast and pray for him tomorrow. We know Heavenly Fathers will is the right way. We hope that whatever happens we can be happy. We are SOOO thankful that we have an eternal family. And that Jaren is always going to be ours. We love so much! We love you all and thank you for your prayers, support, and love. Thank you for the phone calls.