Nighty Night

Well we are shooting for a bed time before mid-night tonight.

We've had some amazing experiences today.....and some really hard things. But we are making it through so well. We know the Lord is blessing us.

We could post the last post for a while because we felt that we needed to pray and gain some insight and revelation on what was happening. After the doc told us all that new of all the ranges of things that could go on with Jaren...well, we cried to say the least. We came back to Jaren's room and just stared at him......thoughts of all sorts were crossing our minds. I couldn't handle it and knew we needed to go pray and ask Heavenly Father for help.....and we kept waiting there just thinking.....it's hard to pray when you can't focus. So we were mustering up the courage to pray and to know what to pray for.

We decided that we needed a room to ourselves. So Steven and I found a quite room. We sat again, just thinking. Steven asked me to say the prayer.....and then we waited some more. And yes, you all waited too. But we had to know what to think and what to say to you all.

Before we started I told Steven that I knew Heavenly Father was NOT like Satan, he does not lead us to think things that are not true if we are truly in tune with the spirit we will have the thoughts in our minds that he wants us to have. So as we knelt, I asked the Holy Ghost in my mind to guide my prayer, I was still unsure what to say. The prayer just came, the words just flowed from my mouth. I don't remember much of what I prayed for. I thanked Heavenly Father for his spirit and for the comfort of all of the prayer and fasting in our behalf. I told him we could truly feel the peace from it. I told him how confused we were and that we didn't understand any of this. I asked him to please help our thoughts be focused in the direction that is where he wanted us to be. I told him I knew that he wouldn't let us think things that weren't going to be happening.

After the prayer we sat for a few minutes and pondered....trying to receive personal revelation on what we were to gain from that prayer. After a few minutes.....we were still both thinking a lot, and I said to Steven that when I thought of Jaren dying or planning his funeral, that thought was immediately replaced with something else....something that felt good and very different from death. I told him I was sure that he would live. What I am unsure about is what he will be like long term. But one thing I do know is that however he is as he lives is how the Lord has planned this. It may be perfect and he may live to be 101, or he may die young. But Jaren knew what would happen to him when he came to this earth, and that is why he is so freaking awesome.....he still wanted a body, which is how we progress in the wonderful Plan of Salvation. He knew that this wouldn't be easy, but that it would help him. He was sent to this earth for a specific purpose. His purpose is obviously very special. He is a very special boy. He will live on this earth until he has finished all that the Lord has in store for him. He will enrich our lives while we are on this earth no matter what kind of conditions he has (perfect or not). I believe that he was a little too perfect for this earth. And he is trying to teach us more about God's plan for us. What an amazing thing.

I bore this testimony to my grandparents, Steven and my Mother tonight as we finished our dinner. I sat there for 20 minutes or more it felt like trying to get the guts to spit it out. I felt so weird until I bore it....like you do in testimony meeting sometime, you keep ignoring the prompting and you feel like you heart is going to jump out of your body. After I bore my testimony, which I knew they all needed to hear. I felt this burning in my stomach....it was strong. I know it was the spirit of God. It was the strongest I've ever felt it on this earth. Wow, it really was more amazing than I can describe.

Right now I feel like a rock, solid in what I know and that God's plan is more than perfect. We however are far from it and he is helping us understand it. It's starting to make so much more sense as we have had this Spirit and revelation. I am so thankful for the testimony that Heavenly Father blessed me with. I have always known I'd have it, and it is my rock and my strength and the reason that I am able to live my life right now and share my thoughts so well with you. I hope your testimonies are strengthened by this wonderful experience and trial. Don't ever forget that Heavenly Father truly never gives a trial you cannot handle. If you seek his guidance he will bless you. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

-A few updates on the little man:

-Around 7:00 tonight they put in a chest tube that goes into his lung (he's been so swollen, incredibly swollen) and it's been doing so good. It's bringing a steady good flow out from his lungs and he is peeing again quite often. WAHOOOOOO....we've been waiting for this.

-He's had some sweet cards from my mom's elementary class....i'll have to post later some of their comments....kids really say the 'darn-est' things.

-He just seems to look a bit better now after all that swelling, his pH balance in he blood and all the levels of everything are looking so much better from the drainage...it's great.

Keep praying, we'll still be here a while and truly feel peace from your love and support.

Sorry this was a novel......but I love you and want you to know everything, and this is my journal for now.